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wednesday_10_00) wrote2007-10-15 12:16 am
wednesday_10_00) wrote2007-10-15 12:16 am
Entry tags:
Translation comparison
I actually had been thinking about doing a side-by-side comparison of some manga and the translated version, just out of curiosity, but...well, mostly I was too lazy. Then I happened to notice something that seemed off in the English version of Close the Last Door, and I took a closer look. What I found was...not pretty.
Disclaimer: I don't know what process scripts go through at DMP/June; and it's possible all the mistakes are simply due to a rewriter taking too much liberty with the dialogue. However, to my eyes, it looks like a bad translation, plain and simple. So, here we go:
6月の花嫁が幸せになれるなんて最初に言い出したのはどこのどいつたろう。
Translation: I wonder what jerk first said that a June bride will be happy?
June version: I wonder who first told me that an August bride will have a happy marriage?
Notes: "Jerk" is not in there literally, but どこのどいつ is a rather...belligerent way to say "who." It makes it obvious from page one that Nagai is angry about the wedding. But although it's a little off (it's who first said it, not who first told Nagai specifically), I wouldn't mention this line except for the change from June to August, which is so strange to me. Did the translator misread the 6 for an 8? Or is there some American superstition about August brides? (I've never heard it.)
新郎のご友人で会社の先輩でもいらっしゃいます永井篤さまよりご祝辞をいただきます
Translation: Let's hear the congratulatory speech of Nagai Atsushi, friend and coworker [sempai] of the groom.
June version: We have friends of the groom here, as well as coworkers. Let's hear Atsushi Nagai's congratulatory speech.
Notes: I guess I can see getting confused by the masu form there in the first clause, but...no, it's pretty obvious they're connected.
ちょっとぉ あの人よくない？
Translation: Hey, isn't that guy hot?
June version: He can't say that!
Notes: This is such an amateurish mistake I just don't know what to say. I guess the whole non-negative ない thing can be confusing, if, um, you just started learning Japanese, in which case YOU SHOULDN'T BE TRANSLATING PROFESSIONALLY. Also, way to completely miss the meaning of いい. >.<
とっとと別れちまえコノヤロー
Translation: Break up already, you dumbass!
June version: Shut up already, damn-it!
Notes: Since when is "damn it" hyphenated? No, never mind that. "Shut up"? Where did that come from? It makes no sense when Nagai's the one doing the talking. Does he hate himself for what he's saying or something?
なんか人のモンになると思うとねぇ...
Translation: But when I think about her belonging to someone else...
June version: Just when you think you belong to someone...
Notes: I wasn't paying a whole lot of attention to earlier pages, but this was the line that first raised red flags. I read it and was like, "...WHAT is he talking about? He thought he belonged to Remi, what?" It just didn't fit with the rest of what he was saying.
何あんたそっちの人...
Translation: What, you're one of those...?
June version: So you meant the groom?
Notes: Basically, Honda's asking Nagai if he's gay. Maybe this is a rewrite issue, and honestly, the line works by itself, but the next line is Nagai yelling "I'm not gay!" which doesn't make as much sense with the June translation.
...でもまさかホレてたなんてな... 他の奴のモンになるって知って始めて自覚したよ
Translation: But I never thought my feelings were romantic...I only realized when he was about to belong to someone else.
June version: But I never thought I'd fall for him... It was the first time I felt like I belonged to someone.
Notes: Oh yes, this mistake again. Well, at least they're consistent...(Also, despite the way I wrote it, the first part isn't completely off, it just doesn't quite agree grammatically. It's more like "...I'd fallen for him," which doesn't sound very good to me.)
何かもういいやって気に...
Translation: I'm starting to feel like I don't care any...
June version: I'm sure she'll send word...
Notes: Did the translator really just think that いい was 言い? THIS HURTS MY BRAIN.
男の方は半殺しね
Translation: And beat the crap out of [literally "half-kill"] the guy.
June version: Otherwise you're only half a man.
Notes: orz
Yeah, I can't take anymore. I can almost feel my blood pressure go up as I type. Mind you, this is all from the first chapter. (If I went on I would get to the part where "he's good at this" becomes "he tastes good." -_- [Which, since they're kissing, I guess might be understandable...if うまい hadn't been written 上手い.])
So now I really have to wonder: was DMP not interested in hiring me because they already had enough translators? Wonderful translators like this? Because honestly, that's just...sad.
Disclaimer: I don't know what process scripts go through at DMP/June; and it's possible all the mistakes are simply due to a rewriter taking too much liberty with the dialogue. However, to my eyes, it looks like a bad translation, plain and simple. So, here we go:
6月の花嫁が幸せになれるなんて最初に言い出したのはどこのどいつたろう。
Translation: I wonder what jerk first said that a June bride will be happy?
June version: I wonder who first told me that an August bride will have a happy marriage?
Notes: "Jerk" is not in there literally, but どこのどいつ is a rather...belligerent way to say "who." It makes it obvious from page one that Nagai is angry about the wedding. But although it's a little off (it's who first said it, not who first told Nagai specifically), I wouldn't mention this line except for the change from June to August, which is so strange to me. Did the translator misread the 6 for an 8? Or is there some American superstition about August brides? (I've never heard it.)
新郎のご友人で会社の先輩でもいらっしゃいます永井篤さまよりご祝辞をいただきます
Translation: Let's hear the congratulatory speech of Nagai Atsushi, friend and coworker [sempai] of the groom.
June version: We have friends of the groom here, as well as coworkers. Let's hear Atsushi Nagai's congratulatory speech.
Notes: I guess I can see getting confused by the masu form there in the first clause, but...no, it's pretty obvious they're connected.
ちょっとぉ あの人よくない？
Translation: Hey, isn't that guy hot?
June version: He can't say that!
Notes: This is such an amateurish mistake I just don't know what to say. I guess the whole non-negative ない thing can be confusing, if, um, you just started learning Japanese, in which case YOU SHOULDN'T BE TRANSLATING PROFESSIONALLY. Also, way to completely miss the meaning of いい. >.<
とっとと別れちまえコノヤロー
Translation: Break up already, you dumbass!
June version: Shut up already, damn-it!
Notes: Since when is "damn it" hyphenated? No, never mind that. "Shut up"? Where did that come from? It makes no sense when Nagai's the one doing the talking. Does he hate himself for what he's saying or something?
なんか人のモンになると思うとねぇ...
Translation: But when I think about her belonging to someone else...
June version: Just when you think you belong to someone...
Notes: I wasn't paying a whole lot of attention to earlier pages, but this was the line that first raised red flags. I read it and was like, "...WHAT is he talking about? He thought he belonged to Remi, what?" It just didn't fit with the rest of what he was saying.
何あんたそっちの人...
Translation: What, you're one of those...?
June version: So you meant the groom?
Notes: Basically, Honda's asking Nagai if he's gay. Maybe this is a rewrite issue, and honestly, the line works by itself, but the next line is Nagai yelling "I'm not gay!" which doesn't make as much sense with the June translation.
...でもまさかホレてたなんてな... 他の奴のモンになるって知って始めて自覚したよ
Translation: But I never thought my feelings were romantic...I only realized when he was about to belong to someone else.
June version: But I never thought I'd fall for him... It was the first time I felt like I belonged to someone.
Notes: Oh yes, this mistake again. Well, at least they're consistent...(Also, despite the way I wrote it, the first part isn't completely off, it just doesn't quite agree grammatically. It's more like "...I'd fallen for him," which doesn't sound very good to me.)
何かもういいやって気に...
Translation: I'm starting to feel like I don't care any...
June version: I'm sure she'll send word...
Notes: Did the translator really just think that いい was 言い? THIS HURTS MY BRAIN.
男の方は半殺しね
Translation: And beat the crap out of [literally "half-kill"] the guy.
June version: Otherwise you're only half a man.
Notes: orz
Yeah, I can't take anymore. I can almost feel my blood pressure go up as I type. Mind you, this is all from the first chapter. (If I went on I would get to the part where "he's good at this" becomes "he tastes good." -_- [Which, since they're kissing, I guess might be understandable...if うまい hadn't been written 上手い.])
So now I really have to wonder: was DMP not interested in hiring me because they already had enough translators? Wonderful translators like this? Because honestly, that's just...sad.